Found this @ http://parenting.failblog.org/2011/11/30/crazy-parenting-fails-yep-early-adolescence-is-pretty-much-the-worst/

If I believed in karma,
I would tend to think it has begun to unleash itself upon me, as penance for my teenage years of projected irrationality and general disgustingness.

I think my Dad is probably up there smiling down with a sort of endearing grin directed at me.
"now you know what it is like raising a tornado"

I own (or have part shares in) a 14 year old.
Ok, 14 in 2 weeks time.

See, for those of you who also have shares invested in this species, I really don't need to say anything.
You are already nodding your heads and giggling (and/or sipping a red, and sighing.)

They are moody.
They are angry
They are depressive
They are selfish
They are indecisive
They are compulsive
They seek attention
ALL.OF.THE.TIME

Found on google- not my image

Mind you, I know some ex wives who also fit this category....
(and I'll be the first to admit that at certain ahem times of the month I certainly do)

I was going to say that there are probably a bunch of do gooder parents waiting to jump on me and say that I am being too negative and that there are wonderful, beautiful things that come from teenagers...
But then I realised that I don't think anyone that reads this probably fits that category.
And if they do they probably don't own shares in a teenage girlwoman.

You want to be nice, and understanding...
You REALLY do...

Until they outright insult you with their faux uber coolness
And their heinous 'isms'

You have to stand back (waaaaay back) and look at it through clinical eyes and surmise that
it's not their fault, they are brain damaged at this point in time (Thankyou oh thankyou Nigel Latta!!!)
and that, yes... I too was this brain damaged once upon a teenage hood.

To be really honest I am lucky that she isn't as bad as I was. (yet)
I am lucky that she is pretty much a 'good girl'
I HAVE to just keep telling myself that as every year passes we are closer to getting the finished product.
Which, will be spectacular.

As long as we all survive the brain damage.

And oh how I wish I could rescue her from all of this.... sweep her away to some magical world where the not-hormonal crap that surrounds her would vanish, and she didn't have extra hurts and pains around her neck like a year round winter scarf that always, always itches...

But I cannot.
And even when I try....
I seem to make it worse

But that, I put down, to a fall in stocks.
A loss in confidence in the market
A general wish wash of pituitary craziness.

One can't take these things personally.
I seek refuge in the fact that I got through it...
And
I adore my Mum now.

Skyward

Did you just catch me

Or did I fall into your arms

without realising you had even called


What is this thing

we hold

and call life

as if we had any control

Open your eyes and see

We are not alone

But with shadows

But with our shadows.

Welcome to your backwards life

I didn't get the Holly House job..
That actually seems like it was an extremely long time ago.
I asked them to give me some reasons and they did, albeit long winded sentences strung together to make the job sound like I was unable to do it justice in any form, which I know would not have been the case.

Her advice to me? (only because I asked)
Contact the Polytechnic and inquire about a diploma in social work.

Awesome, thanks guys, I hadn't thought of that at all.
*rolls eyes*

I guess that will learn me for being too ambiguous when I ask for advice.

So I asked God instead.
what I thought I heard was something about 'hang in there, I'm preparing you'
I have no concept of what hang in or prepare is/are.
Thats not my forte at all.
Which means either I DEFINITELY heard God ;) or that I was talking to myself again.

I chose to ignore the latter and believe it was Him...
Although, going by the next few calls I made, one might question my 'obedience'?

I went for a lunch date.
With the always freaking amazing Deb ( Works in progress )
We had Maccas because she had some small people with her.
I actually think it's because they had hot apple pies that day, because we both caved and had one...
(So.Good.)

I digress

We got talking about jobs we want to do, and I was in this 'meg turmoil' as I didn't know what 'hang in there I'm preparing you' meant, and also, I felt that the tracks were changing on my somewhat railroading journey and it was time...
I knew what area {'field'} I wanted to get into, but not which of the 12 doors (ok 3) to go through to get there.

So the issue of a degree came up.
You know... the one which takes 3 years at university (or 7... depending on your circumstances ;) )
The idea of enrolling at Massey came up.
Several times.
Anyone here believe in divine encounters?
At McDonalds?

It felt a little like that.
Suddenly this thing, (this huge thing in my head) seemed reachable.
Not even the end goal.. just the first step through the door.
It seemed that after all my backwards living; having a child as a child, getting married, mothering, divorce, healing, getting married (oh man....) and finally, getting an education so maybe one day I can be in a position to help someone like me...

Had not been irrelevant.
It seemed like the right door.

So, I enrolled at Massey
To do a Bachelor of Science with a ..... Psychology major.

Of course I still have to get my 'offer of place' and my ever increasing student loan approved

But if all of that goes through
I will officially be a broke, but ambitious uni student.

I feel I have Deb to thank.
You'll have to ask her why ;)

O&O

Happy (est) Mothers day

Aw.
It was such a lovely day!!

I got presents from all the kids

A card from Ben that made me sweet-cry (he actually said 'feel free to cry' in it...) and a block of white choccy!! NomNom
A blue Mountain pottery jug from Pop which goes with my deer... LOVE
A letter posted from school from Roo (I sweet cried at that one too.)

It felt real good to be their mumma today.
Got a coffee too!

I asked James to take a photo of me and them as my final present, as I don't have  a recent one anywhere..

this was the result:

Then we finished the courtyard out the back.
Such a beautiful warm day...

Couldn't complain (too much) really!!!


I made this.... I think the top one was taken 4 years ago.
Love.

I can't be bothered.....

Are there any things that you are truly adverse to doing?
I don't mean like the dishes or the washing.

For example...

My car needs petrol.
I can't be bothered to go and get any. I realise it's expensive these days, but thats not even the point.
If I had a million dollars, I still think it's one of those things I would like to palm off to James.
It ALMOST scrapes into the 'blue job' category.  (you know, where there are pink jobs and blue jobs.... I consider car related matters to be a blue job.)

So, I'll drive around for at least a day (if not 2) without putting petrol in the car.
In my defense, it hasn't (quite) ever actually broken down.

Returning DVD's.
Hopeless.
Actually hopeless.
I can't seem to process the idea of getting into the car (which is empty anyway) and taking them back on time.
It's just in the 'I'll do it later'
and later and later...

$16 in fees later and I wish I had just done it.
But, I won't.
James can almost guarantee it.

In fact if I want to really make him smile and freak him out at the same time, I can come home and tell him I actually TOOK the DVD's back on time.

But it's rare.

Posting letters.
I can't ever be bothered.
This is one of the reasons that we sent out our thankyou cards about 6 weeks after the wedding!

If it's a parcel I'll do it, as I have to buy the box, and postage etc...
But I have just become accustomed to putting letters that need to be posted into james's lunchbox in the morning.
That way they'll actually get posted.
- genius

Some of this stuff just shouldn't be a big deal but I just find my self putting off and putting off etc.

And to be fair, James is SO good at posting letters and filling up my car and dropping DVD's back..
;)

There must be more of you out there??

Here's to

So I have applied for a job at Holly House
A residential home for teenage mums.
It's a job I have always wanted to do when I 'grew up'
As I was pregnant when I was a mere 15, and had my daughter when I was 16.

My 16th birthday before I had told most people.... 

Pregnant with her.... about to pop!

Someone once gave me a 'word' that I would help young mums.
Also it was spoken over me at the wedding that I would 'speak' I would use my voice to reach others (speaking isn't the issue, it's what I say that seems to have the power to cause change or in bad circumstances offense!)
- He also said I was a bit 'wild' - in the good sense. I was so happy that finally that word has been used as a positive adjective....

So I applied for this job.
It was a random kind of chance that I even saw the ad.

My faith that I will GET the job is about as minute as it could be, as I have no pieces of paper saying that I  have the right to work with young people in 'at risk' situations...

Oh, well except for Pop's birth certificate.... :)

And also James is wanting to make some changes in his life too..
And I feel like I should be there to support that...

Don't worry, his hair will still be the same colour....

(these are all a bit damaged with wear)

So, I really don't know what will happen. I havn't heard anything from them, and it's been nearly a week, so I'm not overly hopeful, but I can always volunteer.

Sometimes I'm so Grateful to NOT know what God's 'mega plan' for my life is.... 

Coz I'm sure I would kick and scream at the concept of it..

Until He whispers that He does actually know what he's doing with me... 

I hate waiting.

(REALLY??!!)

;)

Once you go black.....

I dyed my hair black.

I was going for 'my cute asian girlfriend wife' (due to being 1/4 Japanese)

I may have failed quite remarkably now I think I look more like Angelica Huston.

James was not quite as excited as I was hoping....

It was not our best moment.

Today was a bit shit.

Looks better up than down.

That is all.