And he is right.
I'm not 'in it' anymore.
Despite doing a few really cool pamphlets up a few weeks back and getting the guts to drop them at a preschool in my (fairly well to do) area...
Despite doing some kick arse promotions... (which no-one even responded to!)
I really just .... don't care.
I have no love for this business where every second person is a 'good enough' photographer.
If you've got a camera... you have yourself a business.
- Although I know this is complete rubbish because I would love to get statistics on how many photographers are even making ends meet in Christchurch-
Anyway... it's not the thing.
The thing is I looked at this great photo I took that someone had made a lovely comment about, and thought "Wow, yeah, I was pretty cool at that. I met heaps and heaps and heaps of amazing people from all walks of life doing this job, and I had talent.."
And the first thought was one of fear... "how would I ever DO that again?? I'm too scared to walk into peoples houses and start photographing random people I don't know"
{Thats probably a whole can of worms on it's own...}
As I sit in the warmth of my lounge contemplating the newness of what I am about to walk into, I find comfort in the minimalisation of my 'jobs'.
I am not a working photographer any longer.
I can probably go back to photographing the things I find interesting again.
I only have 3 shoots left I ever have to do if I want.
And then I can just be me...
A wife, a mum and a student.
Will I ever make it through Uni?
Maybe? Hopefully!
But it's exciting to think it's sitting so close to me.
And I just feel like it's time to give it all up.
Like those actors who bow out gracefully (read: retire... not die) :)
It was good while it lasted...
Will it ever happen again?
Who knows.
Over and Out xxx
good for you for letting it go when the season was right - the spring may come again in time or it just may become a happy place to visit now and again. x
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