|The most beautiful place in Christchurch (this is a bad example) The bluebells under the spring trees, right in the center of town...|
Ok, so it's a little long since I blogged.
If you think thats bad, you should see my journal. I could probably keep using the same one for the next 3 years and I still wouldn't finish it...
Part of me thinks thats a little sad, as I was such a 'journal-er' But on thinking about it, I guess it's just another one of those things that has altered over time, changed as I have grown up...
I have kept one since I was 9 or so, every year. Mostly to whine about how I perceived my situation to be.
A release of energy, of emotion, of pent up frustration...
Now I just take it out on the kids instead... Joking.
I think it's something to do (or at least I aspire for this to be the reason) with the fact that I am more in the now. I'm trying to deal with stuff that comes up as it happens, not 5 hours later with my head in a diary, and a pen furiously writing away the anger/guilt/sadness/overwhelmy feelings...
Even blog was never spost to be about an audience (how many times have we said that to ourselves)
I didn't even sit down to write this!
Was going to say, that my job has been going well.
I have team mates.
I am learning that there are definitely people I work better with.
I have re-learnt that I still get on better with guys in general than girls in a workplace. (study place, etc)
I have a teensy tiny, but oh so regular paycheck to count on every week.
And all of that feels good.
There was a moment yesterday when I thought : Oh crap, this is forever... I work everyday... I feel trapped....
And then I pulled myself together and told myself that I was being paid for it, and it was filling my days... and that is what I wanted.
Christmas holidays are a whole different row of ducks that are as of yet to be lined up, but.....
I am not freaking out.
So thats been my month.
Learning, and trying to pray for those around me who need a break, who need a load taken off their shoulders.
Gosh, thats actually a whole post of its own...
I'll try to put proverbial pen to paper before the next month ends....
Over and Out xx